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Writer's pictureDr. Kimberley Carder

World Mental Health Day + Motherhood

As I welcome another year of World Mental Health Day as a practicing psychologist, this is my first as a mother. This year's theme, Workplace Mental Health, doesn’t intend to exclude mothers, yet it does highlight one of the many issues our society faces regarding women and their relationship with work. Having spent the majority of this year pregnant and embracing my new role as a mother, my understanding of the human experience has expanded significantly. In particular, my relationship with mental health and society has been reshaped as I incorporate the dimensions of motherhood and parenting into my identity.


Despite looking forward to this new chapter, supported by my partner and family, it has been a rude awakening as I navigate my place within the fabric of society, work, and modern life. This experience has underscored how those of us existing outside the typical parameters of the workforce are more susceptible to mental health challenges. Being out of the workforce, I found myself on a self-imposed “maternity leave” as an independent practitioner, feeling as if I could only exist on the fringes of life. This marginalization brought challenges in establishing a sense of belonging. Modern life often fails to celebrate the work of motherhood, which occurs behind closed doors and lacks recognition. It’s messy, difficult, and utterly necessary, yet we downplay its significance until we step into that caring role ourselves or support someone navigating it, realizing just how exhausting it can be.


The post-partum experience was one of the most significant dips in my mental health during my adult years, I was bewildered—how had I been blindsided by this experience, especially as a mental health professional? How was I so ill-equipped to handle the profound human experience of bringing another life into the world? This situation illuminated how disconnected our society has become from our natural state, how far removed we are from the essence of our biology, and how civilization often makes the expression of our human nature feel barbaric. Our cities are not designed with the human experience at their core; instead, they prioritize efficiency and capital. This reflection underscores the importance of representation in positions of power and its integral role in fostering a balanced and holistic society.


There I was with my baby, celebrating this evolution of life, yet feeling isolated from the familiarity of my life before her birth. The world suddenly felt noisier, scarier, and less welcoming. My competitive energy and hustle no longer served me, and as someone no longer contributing to the workforce, I felt a dip in my sense of value. The work I was doing—caring for and nurturing a new life—often felt small and irrelevant compared to the fast-paced commerce happening outside my home. The irony of how the work of sustaining our species can feel so insignificant was striking. It felt as if I had been put on pause while the rest of the world continued without me. I had previously thought I would be moving with life, not trying to catch up and appear “normal.” Entering motherhood felt isolating; it’s no wonder mental health challenges arose.


I have been humbled by life and the limitations of my previous lived experience. I reflect on the fact that every person I have ever met, every life I have read about, watched on TV, or treated in practice, has been brought into existence through the process of birth and motherhood. I am reminded of the dynamic interplay between mental health, society, and the different chapters of life.

For me, being a psychologist isn’t just a job; it’s a dedication to the practice of therapy and supporting others on their mental health journeys. All these experiences—both highs and lows—have enriched me, enhancing my skill set and deepening my compassion for the human narrative.


My work is now expanding to support maternal mental health. I realize that my previous naivety about working with children and families failed to account for the depth of the maternal experience as a family therapist. I remain forever in service and a student of life.

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